Silence is the most painful sarcasm.
Silence is the most painful sarcasm.
I miss some one yet the person is right next to me
Some one misses me yet i am a thousand kilometer away
You miss me and i miss you too yay!!!
A friend’s lync today is off. And we used to have conf using that tools. And it felt incomplete. Tons of simple lines flashed away. Lines like “where will you go to lunch?” Or “wew. time flies, and my report hasn’t finished yet.” Or just to tell funny story of those expates.
I feel that i talk a lot. And i need someone just to hear. Or just pretend to.i dont care. i will forget anyway what i have talked about. :). And so does this blog.keep posting here makes me feel like i’ve talked to someone.
Should have, could have or might have is the saddest thing of all?
Those three are losers’ sentences opening. The saddest loser, people might say is the “might have” one. Since these loser is a type of loser who dont want to try.
BUUUT, nobody knows what the “might have” background is.
Aaaanyway, beginning of this turn of attempt, i said to myself, i am not gonna say those three words no more. Am gonna say Alhamdulillah.
SAAADD… *said with boss’s tone and accent*
Mengquote Tere Liye, yg ntah dimana beliau sebut apa yg gw quote ini, tp yg jelas beredar di dunia maya para quotersnya:
Hei, menikah itu bukan lomba lari,
yang ada definisi siapa cepat,
siapa lelet larinya.
Menikah itu juga bukan lomba makan kerupuk,
yang menang adalah yang paling cepat ngabisin kerupuk,
lantas semua orang berseru hore.
Menikah itu adalah misteri Ilahi.
Jadi tidak ada istilah terlambat menikah.
Pun tidak ada juga istilah pernikahan dini.
jika Allah sudah menentukan,
maka akan tiba momen terbaiknya,
di waktu paling pas,
tempat paling tepat.
Abaikan saja orang-orang yang memang cerewet mulutnya bilang “gadis tua, bujag lapuk”,
atau nyinyir bilang, “kecil-kecil kok sudah menikah”.
Apa yg Tere Liye bilang sbnrnya sdh kepikiran dr sejak gagal menikah dg xxx hihihi, sblm itu jelasnya gw sdh sangat bertekad bulat untuk menikah dg siapapun yg berani ngajak nikah.
Kalo Ted Mosby bisa bilang “stop dating, start settling” nah kira2 begitulah tekad gw pd saat2 itu. Niat dlm hati, berdoa minta pd Allah. Dan berkeyakinan, insya allah kalo niatnya baik, dimudahkan-Nya.
Dan gak lama dr situ datanglah calon yg dengan gagahnya bilang “aku mau nikah sm km”.👏👍
Yg pasti Allah lah yg berkehendak akhrnya kami berdua tdk berjodoh untuk berakhir ke pelaminan.
Satu hal yg ga ngerti knp di indonesia org nyinyir soal ini terutama bagi yg sdh menikah. alasannya bahan becanda lah, toh niatnya baik, untuk mengencourage sedemikian rupa, supaya jd menikah.
Well, dibalik niat baik dan kebaikan itu sebenernya ada “rasa” yg gak enak dirasakan oleh most of para bujang dan gadis yg blm juga menikah. Dan sekali lagi gw bilang “dibalik niat baik dan kebaikan” social tension itu somehow menurut gw, saat itu, agak terlalu berguna, malah bikin galau tanpa solusi. toh menikah itu misteri Allah. Dan sekali lagi dibalik niat baik dan kebaikan itu alangkah lebih berguna menurut gw, saat itu, kalo mereka yg pada “nyinyir” nyinyirin temen mereka yg cowok yg blm nikah buat kenalan sm temen mereka yg cewek yg jg belum nikah, sapa tahu jodoh. Or else, at least try to open their mind and find a solution but you do it face to face. Nggak di forum.
Speaking of galau, anyway saat ini gw blm menikah, tp sdh ga segalau kmrn2 sih.
Menikah memang bukan lomba lari. Tp ttp harus lari buat mencapai garis. Krn kita harus menyegerakan menikah ketika sdh mampu. Mmg bukan lomba lari yg dinilai kapan smpnya di garis. Tp apakah km berlari dengan benar dan di track yg benar. Garis itu takkan ada yg bs lihat, Allah satu2nya yg tahu dan Maha Tahu. Jadi nggak usah heboh bgg nanya ke org pintar ini lah itu lah, ttg kapan saya nikah dan sm sapa saya nikah. Cm bikin tambah masalah.
Nikah itu ibadah, jd bukan buat dipamer2in atau buat bahan olokan buat yg blm. Nikah itu ibadah jd fokuslah diibadah masing2. Nikah itu ibadah, tp bukan cm satu2nya ibadah.
Bs jd mmg ada kesalahan dr diri gw yg bikin blm nikah. I’m fighting to find and change it. Bs jd mmg gw blm siap. Bs jd kurang kenceng larinya. Gw cm bs berusaha, meminta dan gak pernah putus asa. Dan gak lupa, bersyukur, krn cm itu satu2nya yg bs menolong gw dr lelah berlari dan galau memikirkan “manaaa ini garisnya”.
Bismillah. Insya allah, Allah senantiasa bersama kita, dan dibalik semua kesulitan selalu ada kemudahan.
I start to write again…
i simply dont like it. it’s just sooo much easier to make a posting before. my shout to WordPress, pleaseeeee… change baaaaack!
*nitey nite…sleep tite*
One day i said to my self, possitively, an affirmation to the universe, that someday i will do this do that..again, this and that.. And now i shall say i quit, anyway universe ows me a slap for that.
Its not that i stop dreaming, i’m just coning my wishes. halaaaah … mending balik ke si manis.
The sweet girl was alone. What scared me was she was not looking to the road. she walked straight though, yet she looked down all the time. (hiyaaaah, how did i found she was sweet ya?? She was, i just knew it) no umbrella, eventhough the water was falling on her head. She just didnt care. She walked and walked and walked like in a rush.
Back to the dot, its up to you if you want to sneak peek the un finished big picture..or trying to guess what is it going to be.. You can try to connect the dot. You might get it right. Or you may not. After all Allah has His timing..and semua itu indah pd waktuNya sooo leave Him connect them for you.. Predominantly you will loose your time just forguessing and asking while you can enjoy. Anyway asking is good, cause by asking you will get big dots as your wish. just dont forget to enjoy yaaaa…
~~~i shall sleep and work for other dots of my life tomorrow~~~
It was rain. On my way home from the office, i saw a girl..i guess, wearing that hoodie, a white scarf, and a very tight and mini skirt, to disappoint me, she wasnt wearing a white coctail dress sih.
It was rain. She is very sweet looking. And it was far enough from Ancol. And she is way from looking like si manis jembatan Ancol…tapi bookk hujan getolohhhh so creepy nggak si?
Any way it wasnt my point. My point is you dont know who she is. She could be someone who is very sweet..on her daily life. But she could simply remind me of si manis though she was far from looking like her.
Anybody could say anything… But you could only believe in Allah. And i believe Allah must mean something creating a dot like this.
~~i just cant sleeeeep~~
Things that happened in your life are like dots. At the end if you connect the dots nicely, you will get to know why the dots were there at the first thing. Life is line by line of connector, dot by dot of stop by.
When you see life as a 3D, those lines actually are not a straigth lines. They go up and down..and sometime they swing to a-seemed-not-connected-dot,or sometime we just took more time to finish the mission of our dot. The dots are there for a beautiful reasons,only Allah’s know why where, how, when and what.
The problem is we don’t know how to connect the dots, yet
We complain much…
Stay if you need more time to solve your dot. Stay if you need to, enjoy and followthrough the line, dont ask much, Insya Allah, Allah will show you the picture of the connected dots.
~i just cant sleep~
6 months already,and so I could come back to my prev. I don’t know which one I like better. But at least I need to know the option is still there. Hahaha..
What have I achieved from this past six months? I can’t say nothing, six months felt like my whole life. Hahaha..
I like the discussions a lot. I like being panic. It’s just I don’t feel that I belong.
The question is “is it me who have to end it” or “I should wait to be ended”. Huahahahaha.. Both sound so lame.
Allah,berikan hamba yang terbaik.
day 1. Santiga… done. lejaaat, apalagi kepiting saos lada itemnya, markotop. kalo si Daud sukanya kepiting ladaitemnya dicocol saos padangnya, kalo gw, gurame bakarnya, dicocol saos lada itemnya. beeeeeuuuuuu! seafoodg*sm! hehehe
day 2. lembur lembur lembur… done. lumayan, buat bayar makan santiga kemaren. hahahaha…
day 3. lari pagi, lanjut serpong garden sama serpong terrace… sama Anis. naik kereta, trus naksi deh.
day 4. ramses RPM… push the limit. that’s just it. sama Lara.
day 5. Shangrilla Satoo… makan makan project. smart eating.
day 6. Santiga lagi… sama Linda.
day 7. RPM + apapun lah… bakar santiganyaaaaa… bakaaarrrr.
day 8. Adhi Sixpack… mau nggak yah si Lara? mlmnya nonton film
day 9. not yet decided. mgkn mau main ke Mba Irma atau si Om.
day 10. not yet decided… gym mgkn? tauk lah.
day 11… bandara. hehehe… berharap banget semoga diapprove.
He is my brother..the one who I always turn to when I did something wrong.cause he will back me up and stand by me.
He is my brother..the one who is stinky sometimes yet he is too comfy so you can not move your ass away from him.he provides you his big heart.
He is my brother..the one who is always looked like less than me,so I can be looked like more than him.
He is my brother..the one who thought me how to love,to sacrifice,to be relax.
He is my brother..the one whose tomorrow is matter.
I wish you luck..and pray to Allah.may things happened for you to be a better Hamba Allah.
would like to congrats my self, have passed one more year, happy happy happy mariana…hehehe…
yesterday i cried. like a baby. all day long. hahaha… i read a bbm group chats of marrieds brag the life of being coupled to single for fun. i found it funny though, but still, its just too painful for me to read. it reminds me of what i have and what i havent had. remembering that yesterday will be the last day of me being 28. and today will be the first day of the last year for me being 20ish was really not easy.
i was thinking, i’m old, with no achievement. hahahaha.
but then passing through today, i realized, i was wrong.
before, i would like to congrats my self. congrats mariana… hihihihi…
and so i was just too stupid to realize,this year is a great year. a year full of L.O.V.E… year of being sooooo much in love. and i would like to thank him, for always being arround for me. love, love love…
and this year is also a year moving my stupid ass to safety dept. it was somehow somewhat somewew a bless. i just dont know how to connect the dot yet.
both are achievement. and both are memorable.
just read a poem (i’m guessing). a very sad poem (again, guessing)… anyway, only the author who could interpret the poem better. check the poem http://blog.adhiirawan.com/2011/09/building-a-dreamhouse/.
prior to this, a friend once said, “aaaahhhh… women!”, it was when we talked about break ups. he is, i dont know why, having this thought of women are cruel. are men’s-hearts-breakers. hahahaha…
but it’s not about gender. men are some even lebih brengsek (it is more convenient to use the b word).
to me it really is about love. starting a relationship is all about love, and to me, same as starting, ending it is all about love as well.
love is when you are asked why do you love a person, you can only answer it “i dont know.”
if you know why, it means you love him conditionally. it’s not love. and same as the ending, when you are asked why you dont love him anymore, you can only answer it “i dont know.”
but breaking up with someone you used to love is not easy. you need a solid reason. and a “no longer feeling something” is not an acceptable reason. though it really is a deal breaker. then peeps are making up reasons.
other friend said. loving people and relationship is like a gamble game. loving is taking the risk of losing.
❤ ❤ ❤
for me LOVE’s not a game.
by loving you, i am not gambling now.
by loving you, i dont take any risk to get a return.
i dont care whether i will get a jackpot of love love love or else be crashed.
i just know it’s what i should be now.
I L.O.V.E YOU… and that’s it.
❤ ❤ ❤
*but though, i like the poem, sooooo much. i bet the author is a very romantic person*
Been sooooooo long since the last time i blog-walked. Surfing from blogs to blogs. Being lost in the internet, being lost in peep’s thinking. Nice.. it felt like a virgin surfer. Like you have none problem…
I read this nice posting of Garance, http://www.garancedore.fr/en/2011/11/07/the-magnifying-mirror/
It will definitely come a time when you are like being stuck in front of a magnifying mirror and it shows you just the way you are , only magnified. And guess what, sometime you just dont want to. Specially when like you were in a crowd. But though, good thing is you are able to see the flaw in you biggerly, and before it is toooo much late, you can fix it.
it’s just toooo long since the last time i posted. wew.
i’ve been tooo busy. (more like looking busy sih…). i have no time to just sit down and relax and enjoy being lost in the middle of typed words.
i forgot and too lazy to find, is there any of my posting mentioned i am moved to safety. it was i let my self to be dragged to safety and risk department.
well, here is story time,
first days… GREAT!!!
first month… yay!
after that… i kinda lame huh???
process safety and process are actually came from the same field. the field of chemical engineering. so, i was guessing it wont be like water and oil. and it turns out i was wrong… it is water and oil. i said water and oil, they could be blended in such a manner to make a good emulsion. but yeah. still they are two different mind set.
see… this is what happened when you’re not arround. hahaha…
done with facebook. all peeps status, and each status’ comments, i’ve check one in every two minutes.
done with twitter. that all tweets’ links, pic, even for a tweeps that are tweeting 6tweets each minutes, i catch their tweets up in a speed like every 2 or 3 tweets come in.
done with blogs. my blog, even i have to write this post??? you think? celeb blog, famous blog even blogs that i commonly left the Feed unread, to hundreds posts because they are too much. i have read them all.
TV? amira, aaaanything. done.
sleeps? after doing such a fun things above? i still slept like 4-5 hours in daytime?
housekeeping? Ah! i washed a queen sized quilt, quilt cover, that are weighted almost the same with my weight after dipped in the water. and iron them already.
yeah. i am done now. off to bed (again??)