10 days :(

day 1. Santiga… done. lejaaat, apalagi kepiting saos lada itemnya, markotop. kalo si Daud sukanya kepiting ladaitemnya dicocol saos padangnya, kalo gw, gurame bakarnya, dicocol saos lada itemnya. beeeeeuuuuuu! seafoodg*sm! hehehe

day 2. lembur lembur lembur… done. lumayan, buat bayar makan santiga kemaren. hahahaha…

day 3. lari pagi, lanjut serpong garden sama serpong terrace… sama Anis. naik kereta, trus naksi deh.

day 4. ramses RPM… push the limit. that’s just it. sama Lara.

day 5. Shangrilla Satoo… makan makan project. smart eating.

day 6. Santiga lagi… sama Linda.

day 7. RPM + apapun lah… bakar santiganyaaaaa… bakaaarrrr.

day 8. Adhi Sixpack… mau nggak yah si Lara? mlmnya nonton film

day 9. not yet decided. mgkn mau main ke Mba Irma atau si Om.

day 10. not yet decided… gym mgkn? tauk lah.

day 11… bandara. hehehe… berharap banget semoga diapprove.

~BISAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!~

 

my “baby-boy” is proposing!!!

He is my brother..the one who I always turn to when I did something wrong.cause he will back me up and stand by me.
He is my brother..the one who is stinky sometimes yet he is too comfy so you can not move your ass away from him.he provides you his big heart.
He is my brother..the one who is always looked like less than me,so I can be looked like more than him.
He is my brother..the one who thought me how to love,to sacrifice,to be relax.
He is my brother..the one whose tomorrow is matter.
I wish you luck..and pray to Allah.may things happened for you to be a better Hamba Allah.

happy happy…hiyehiyehiyeeeee…

would like to congrats my self, have passed one more year, happy happy happy mariana…hehehe…

yesterday i cried. like a baby. all day long. hahaha… i read a bbm group chats of marrieds brag the life of being coupled to single for fun. i found it funny though, but still, its just too painful for me to read. it reminds me of what i have and what i havent had. remembering that yesterday will be the last day of me being 28. and today will be the first day of the last year for me being 20ish was really not easy.

i was thinking, i’m old, with no achievement. hahahaha.

but then passing through today, i realized, i was wrong.

before, i would like to congrats my self. congrats mariana… hihihihi…

and so i was just too stupid to realize,this year is a great year. a year full of L.O.V.E… year of being sooooo much in love. and i would like to thank him, for always being arround for me. love, love love…

and this year is also a year moving my stupid ass to safety dept. it was somehow somewhat somewew a bless. i just dont know how to connect the dot yet.

both are achievement. and both are memorable.

Giyahahahaha

a poem

just read a poem (i’m guessing). a very sad poem (again, guessing)… anyway, only the author who could interpret the poem better. check the poem http://blog.adhiirawan.com/2011/09/building-a-dreamhouse/.

prior to this, a friend once said, “aaaahhhh… women!”, it was when we talked about break ups. he is, i dont know why, having this thought of women are cruel. are men’s-hearts-breakers. hahahaha…

but it’s not about gender. men are some even lebih brengsek (it is more convenient to use the b word).

to me it really is about love. starting a relationship is all about love, and to me, same as starting, ending it is all about love as well.

love is when you are asked why do you love a person, you can only answer it “i dont know.”

if you know why, it means you love him conditionally. it’s not love. and same as the ending, when you are asked why you dont love him anymore, you can only answer it “i dont know.”

but breaking up with someone you used to love is not easy. you need a solid reason. and a “no longer feeling something” is not an acceptable reason. though it really is a deal breaker. then peeps are making up reasons.

other friend said. loving people and relationship is like a gamble game. loving is taking the risk of losing.

<3 <3 <3

for me LOVE’s not a game.

by loving you, i am not gambling now.

by loving you, i dont take any risk to get a return.

i dont care whether i will get a jackpot of love love love or else be crashed.

i just know it’s what i should be now.

I L.O.V.E YOU… and that’s it. 

<3 <3 <3

*but though, i like the poem, sooooo much. i bet the author is a very romantic person*

magnifying mirror

Been sooooooo long since the last time i blog-walked. Surfing from blogs to blogs. Being lost in the internet, being lost in peep’s thinking. Nice.. it felt like a virgin surfer. Like you have none problem…
Anyway…
I read this nice posting of Garance, http://www.garancedore.fr/en/2011/11/07/the-magnifying-mirror/
It will definitely come a time when you are like being stuck in front of a magnifying mirror and it shows you just the way you are , only magnified. And guess what, sometime you just dont want to. Specially when like you were in a crowd. But though, good thing is you are able to see the flaw in you biggerly, and before it is toooo much late, you can fix it.

it’s just tooo…

it’s just toooo long since the last time i posted. wew.

i’ve been tooo busy. (more like looking busy sih…). i have no time to just sit down and relax and enjoy being lost in the middle of typed words.

yup…

i forgot and too lazy to find, is there any of my posting mentioned i am moved to safety. it was i let my self to be dragged to safety and risk department.

well, here is story time,

first days… GREAT!!!

first month… yay!

after that… i kinda lame huh???

huahuahauhauhauhau…

process safety and process are actually came from the same field. the field of chemical engineering. so, i was guessing it wont be like water and oil. and it turns out i was wrong… it is water and oil. i said water and oil, they could be blended in such a manner to make a good emulsion. but yeah. still they are two different mind set.

huahuahuahuahuah…

i’m done…so done without you.

see… this is what happened when you’re not arround. hahaha…

done with facebook. all peeps status, and each status’ comments, i’ve check one in every two minutes.

done with twitter.  that all tweets’ links, pic, even for a tweeps that are tweeting 6tweets each minutes, i catch their tweets up in a speed like every 2 or 3 tweets come in.

done with blogs. my blog, even i have to write this post??? you think? celeb blog, famous blog even blogs that i commonly left the Feed unread, to hundreds posts because they are too much. i have read them all.

TV? amira, aaaanything. done.

sleeps? after doing such a fun things above? i still slept like 4-5 hours in daytime?

housekeeping? Ah! i washed a queen sized quilt, quilt cover, that are weighted almost the same with my weight after dipped in the water. and iron them already.

yeah. i am done now. off to bed (again??)

do people really grow up?

some one said “we never really grow up. we only learn how to act in public.”

and i said, yeah. in some parts she made a point. but do we?

i learnt that we have to change. yup. something should be changed. in order to adjust. it’s not always wrong-rite taking side. nope. but it’s about adjusting.

when a person who really meant something to you, asked you please be this or be that. you could choose to be this or that or other this or that or you can stay still be just the way you are and let them change. choosing is your pleasure. but as we all know, anything comes with the risks. you can loose, you can fight, you can be happy, ooorrrr…sad. or you can keep the relationship longer.

growing up means that you are a bit older, wiser,  or to develop something, could be physically and mentality. and by growing up means the act prior the growing up is the vice versa. no body really is childish when all you need is just to be more unstable to be fit on a community.

it really is not an excuse. hahahaha…

but then, is growing up is only a matter of how you act in public? is is all about how you represent your self? when you suppose to act wise, instead you act childish, and as such they say you dont grow up, i can not agree to the expression. grow up sometimes to me is a matter how you see things. how you process it and how you present the result.

somethings need to be just come in the right ear and directly come out from the left ear. just simply as it. never take grant for this stuff.

somethings need to be processed in your brain through your ratio.

and a lot of things need to come in and stayed for a bit longer in your heart, and together with the ratio, you decide. you act with ratio or your heart.

and a real grown up know which one which one. and, have i been?

stalking… me??? nuuuuuh waaeeehhh…

stalking is my hobby. not in a bad way like you wanna know time to time activity, secret and unspoken things. no. it’s not like that. well, yeah sometimes, but again, not in a bad way. at least i say.

i dont know whether you can call this stalking, like in bbm, you have the recent updates drop down list, and you will see recently changed status or prof pic. anytime i am free, i like to check the updates, and when there is a catchy status, i greet the person using the status. also from fb, and from twitter.

or when i meet new people, i like to google his/her name. just to know what is he/she doing in the internet. but sometimes, when i meet new man, in purpose of having a more than just friend relationship, i google his name to the deepest. to check his background. anyway…

like this blog i fond, i update any new posts from his blog. i put his RSS Feed in my reader. so i would know if he has a new post. now he is working at the same building with me. and when i meet him, i was that surprise as such i came to him and say hi, and tell him how i fan his blog and his thought a lot. and ask him some of his real world facts, like where he lives. all i got is his dumbfounded face and see me like i’m a ghost. at the moment suddenly i realized, yeah! i’m a stalker. and he is the celebrity.

or other case, there’s this blog, the owner never really gave me the address to his blog. but i find it by the kindness of mbah google. well it was easy actually. i typed the same title of his other blog in google. the blog was a bit private i guess. no body even left a comment. and he spitted out some things i never hear from him. so i kept it just for my curiousity. stupid me, he found out that i have his address and suddenly i feel how annoyed being stalked is. and it was ringing me why the heck he stopped writing.

hahahaha…

fyi only yeah… it wasn’t you the only who has blog, who has fan to the blog, or a secret admirer to the blog. and slash or secret admirer. hahahaha… i just dont know whoelse.

 

so i stopped saying hi to him though it is very often we bump each other in the building area. even once, we were in one lift only the two of us. i am afraid if he feels annoyed and stalked and so he move to other company for that sake. hahahaha… sound so stalker huh?

and so i also unsubscribed the other blog RSS Feed, so he could continue to write. i wont see. no more. hahahaha…

as i today stop stalking, when my heart cannot stop beating, as if it is burnt. hahahaha… but please dont stop stalking me folks!

a day with internet bringing back my appetite of writing…

but yeah. i have to off to bed. see ya!

me and hiheels

once i went to a shoesstore, with him, and he chose a pair of shoes for me. i like the shoes mucho mucho…  it really looks good on my feet. it was a very high hiheels. at least for a beginner like me.

but then, have to admit the first month it was a feet-monster. they ate your feet. hahahaha. i was pretending nothing happened. smile. smile. smile, as wide as the screen. smile is the pain-killer. and of course the way it looked like on my feet was just soooo pain-killer. i said, only the first month (more less laaah)… and so done the pain here come the raising age of the shoes. hahahaha. i used them all time. so many time my clothes are not the same theme with them. hahahahaha…

a few days ago i find another pair of hiheels. yippie. it was way simpler, yet looks nice on my feet.

i start to think it is my feet that are nice. hhuahuahuahuahau…

and again, though i have learnt on how should i pick my next hiheels, still i have to struggle with my new shoes. they still are killing. and so i thought to stop using them. but any time i see how nice they are on my feet, i just cant help.

i dont know is there any relation between this with what i wanna tell you after this.

i have this close friend, i cant tell who is she, with a very complicated relationship with her boyfriend. by complicated, i meant it was like a pair of hiheels. they always fight, but then back to cuddle each other in like less than 5 minutes. and if you see how they fight, you might also think that it is a very small chances that they will stay still, but not. any time i checked, they are as okay as many other couple. smiling.

as my vacation, dont ask from which couple, i picked this topic up. it could be mine. could be yours, could be general. i learnt how hard to keep your relationship stay still. i was proud that mine could last a few months, though with no huge fight, when i saw other have to struggle to keep their feet smiling as they use the very comfy shoes.

and so come in mind, is their any in this world a very comfy shoes, as such you dont have to struggle while wearing them on, yet look nice on your feet? if shoes what i really talking about, i believe, yes. there are plenty. how bout relationship? what is the exact formula that i can freeze in mind, and have them re-played as a you tube video?

 

happy ied, all moslem broth and sist

hihihi…

a lot of wishes on my wish list, which are still hanging there. and a lot of times i feel like a looser looking at it. felt like seeing one by one my dream seems soooo far a way for being realized. hahahaha…

and yeah. i put a lots of wishes for this ramadhan. though i have no guts to put my heart on it, but yeah, i did wishing, and i did asking. insya allah He will prepare the best.

Happy ied to my Moslem broth and sist, may from this past Ramadhan, we could learn some good things, be a better person, learn how to master our lust, and may Allah accept all the ibadahs that we did, and makes this ied a very joyful day for us all.

to all, I would like to apologize for all what i did. things that i did, and havent dare enough to admit and confront to apologize to you. I am now. I’m sorry… deeply sorry.

Safety and Risk Department

out of the blue, my boss told me to help the Safety and Risk Department. For a quite time. And here I am. one of it.

Kamis…kamis…kamis…

tak sabar menanti hari Kamis..

yippie!

mine is still a 24-a-day time…

and so i dont know why, i stopped writing. it’s been like ages, since the last time i write. like i said, i dont know why.

the only thing i know is… i am now too sleepy to write, but sooooooooo desperately wanting it. i write with my head nods and with nothing to write. i’m just wanting it.

 

<3 <3 <3

yippie… happy and sad in the same time. see you on sunday ya!

kartu kredit dan tagihannya

sesorean ini gw, yossy sm arfan berdebat hebaaaaaaaaatttttt. membahas ttg amanah vs ikhlash vs akad vs seeeegalaaaaa…

yg pasti semoga berguna. bukan bener atau salah. tapi belajar memilah2.

diantara semua itu bagian yg paling gw suka adalah bagian penutup… pas pulang.

“hahahaha… ya gt deh yos. kalo seandainya dosa itu ada kartu kreditnya, gw tiaaaaap saat ngegeseknya, tinggal ntar pas tanggal cetak aja dikirim tagihannya. sekarang si tagihannya jalaaaan teroooos. sekali gesek… dua kali geseeeeek… makin sering makin banyaaaak. makin hari bunganyamakin banyaaaaak… kayak bunga majemuk… udah tahu dosa kok gak taubat. tapi gitu itu. iman manusia itu kadang lagi di atas… kadang dibawah. pas di atas ya ditawarin yg subhat dikiiit aja. ‘maap. no thanks.’ mau laper kek mau kenyang…mau enak kek mau gratis kek. lewat. eh pas lagi dibawah… yo wes. ‘la laper e.’ ‘la enak e’.”

again anyway. all i can do is to have the battle every and each day. battle against my self.

time is everything?or failing is everything?

i am now enjoying gym so much.

tuesday – belly dancing and 3km of jogging,

wednesday – combat (that is all)

saturday – free styler

sunday – setiabudi-semanggi-setiabudi jogging.

and so after the brag (hihihi), comes the story.

i was sooooo dumb at dancing. and it includes belly dance. it is sooooo hard!!!! to differentiate between shaking your belly and shaking your hips. how should i differentiate? when my belly shakes, my butt and hips also shake, and so my body to. huahuahuahauh…

and this teacher, was soooooo tega deh lo. she did shimi and chest something (when you move your chest like you want to open it up). last weekend i was totally a watcher. i cant catching up. theres no way i can do that. but last nite, it was ok! i was surprise to my self. though its not perfect and far awaaaaaaaay from sensual >> funny instead, well, yeahhh… give me some appreciation for my progress. if i keep doing this for three years, i belive i can do sooooo! pray for that.

and so do other things that i can not do. i will be able eventually. it’s just not the time yet. hahahaha…

LOVE vs COMMITMENT

a friend said love is unreal. it’s only what you feel. but commitment is.

i questioned, how on earth a person could not-loving someone but able to keep a commitment, or could not?

a friend said, well, you could only be falling in love in 2 years. your first 2 years is like in heaven. you’ll be sooo high. so that you are able to do things you couldnt if you’re not in love. after that, it would bore you. and you will start to be your self and start to complain.

i questioned, and so there you need the commitment? how could a person, a living person keep the commitment after that?

a friend said, love is only to open the gate. when you falling in love, you have the energy to do the commitment. and commitment is about to living the commitment. to do it instead to talk about it. the hard time is to begin it. and love is the key to the gate. after several time you do, it becomes a habbit, and by the end of the day commitment is easy.